When a friend elects to stay home from church on Sunday, she says she is attending Bedside Baptist. That would make my own place of worship the Couch-bound church of Christ, or maybe the Can’t-Quite-Make-It Fellowship.
Some of us haven’t darkened a church door in a decade or more, and yet every Sunday morning, some of us feel a tug to…something. I could no more sit in a church of Christ and sing praises to their Jesus than I could sprout wings and fly, but I miss the fellowship. Or maybe I miss the bedrock assurance, although I never actually felt that assurance.
I’ve often wondered if this longing ever goes away. I’m starting to think it doesn’t, and I’m trying to make friends with it. There’s a community there, without me in it.
So. Every Sunday, I pass our local Congregational Church (New England’s state religion), and I realize that these days, my Sunday mornings are every bit as ritualized as they were when Sunday school started at 9:30 a.m. and service ended with an invitation song that was of the get-your-ass-to-Jesus variety.
Every Sunday, I drive to the gym (Blessed Savior of the Stair Stepper) and afterward swing by the bakery (Get ‘Em By the Dozen Foursquare Church) to partake of the host — an old-fashioned doughnut – and the blood — small coffee, cream and sugar. And I sit there quietly thinking of the place we hold for ritual if early on the tree was bent that way.
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You know you can continue your membership at the Couch-bound Church of Christ and still enjoy a sermon every now and then. Our church offers: Media Ministries
Television Ministry: Living the Word, portions of our previous Sunday’s worship service, may be seen on Cox Channel 15 each Sunday at 12:00 noon.
Today’s service was great. So, if you can catch the Feb 22 service on Cox, I’d highly recommend it. It may be on next week. I’m not sure how that works. Anyway, our pastor gave up the pulpit today to guest speaker, Michael Wilson, Artistic Director, Hartford Stage Company to discuss To Kill a Mockingbird and fighting for fairness. It was really great. That was followed by a fantastic vocal performance by Joel Garcia. (He has a phenomenal voice and I can’t believe we are lucky enough to have him perform on occasion in our church!)
Our church is far from perfect. eg I really don’t like those 19th century hymns. There are some special services every now and then, and on those days, I’m glad I dragged myself in. (I don’t always.)
If you ever want to check it out in person, come on over. We welcome all with open arms.
Susan,
My three daughters grew up in Miami,OK where my family attended Miami church of Christ. They also attended GVBC. So I am familar with your struggle even though being a man cannot feel what you felt.
But let me say, when you wrote this blog, what I see is someone who has a hole in their heart that can only be filled by a relationship with Jesus. I emphasize relationship and Jesus–not church. I hurt when I hear your hurt.
Have you read A. W. Tozer’s book “Pursuit of God”? It is an excellent book that you might like to read. It is one of several that my wife and I have found helpful in pursuing a relationship with God and Jesus.
Also, may I say that you cannot heal from your hurts until you can forgive. Even if all who hurt you ask your forgiveness–you still would have to absorb the hurt. We all have to do that to forgive. So it is possible to forgive even when none ask for forgiveness.
Numbers 6:24-26
David
Hi, David, and thanks for this. I have read that book, but the book I’ve found most helpful is “Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time,” by Marcus Borg. And I think you are correct in identifying the hole in my heart. As for whether I’ve forgiven the people from my past, that’s between God and I and any explanation I would give here seems too self-serving. That sounds weird coming from someone who just wrote a whole book about herself (talk about self-serving!) but I am very clear on the role of forgiveness. On another note, I bet your family knew my uncle and aunt. They went to the Miami church, too.
Susan.
I was making an observation about forgiveness. I agree that it is between you and God. It is just that forgiveness is so important to good health–physically and spiritually that I commented.
Yes, we knew your aunt and uncle–Eddie’s Dad as well.
Have you read Philip Yancy–”Soul Survivor–How my Faith Survived the Church?
David
Thank you for that. No, I have not read the book. Do you suggest it?
Yes, I would suggest it. I have found almost all of Yancey’s books to be thoughtful and thought provoking. He has a unique style of writing.
As a child, every Sunday in the summer, we went to the beach at the crack of dawn. And in the winter, we went ice-skating. It was ritual.
Man! I wish I went to YOUR church.