These trick-or-treaters are toddling off to hell

And if you don’t believe me, read this, by Kimberly Daniels on CBN, and you’ll find that:

The key word in discussing Halloween is “dedicated.” It is dedicated to darkness and is an accursed season. During Halloween, time-released curses are always loosed. A time-released curse is a period that has been set aside to release demonic activity and to ensnare souls in great measure.

You may ask, “Doesn’t God have more power than the devil?” Yes, but He has given that power to us. If we do not walk in it, we will become the devil’s prey. Witchcraft works through dirty hearts and wrong spirits.

Wait! Wait! It gets better:

I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.

Even the colors of Halloween (orange, brown and dark red) are dedicated. These colors are connected to the fall equinox, which is around the 20th or 21st of September each year and is sometimes called “Mabon.” During this season witches are celebrating the changing of the seasons from summer to fall. They give praise to the gods for the demonic harvest. They pray to the gods of the elements (air, fire, water and earth).

Mother earth is highly celebrated during the fall demonic harvest. Witches praise mother earth by bringing her fruits, nuts and herbs. Demons are loosed during these acts of worship. When nice church folk lay out their pumpkins on the church lawn, fill their baskets with nuts and herbs, and fire up their bonfires, the demons get busy.

Wait! Wait! Read the rest and then tell me: Precisely what is a “time-released curse?” Because I really want to be prepared.

Wait! Here’s more on Kimberly Daniels. I checked out the War Room, where I was made to feel welcome, even though I believe in a gospel of inclusivity, which Daniels appears to lump in with homosexuality, devil worshipping, and New Age beliefs. Hey! All my friends!

And here’s a New York Times take on it, sort of.

And thanks, Huffington Post, for the link.

How to get hot chicks

From the fabulous Sarah Haskins, in her Target Women series.

You ever notice famous women carrying purses?

You see this kind of thing behind-the-scenes all the time, Famous Women Who Carry Fancy Purses, who, when the cameras start clicking, hand the purse off to the men next to them. (There’s a funny scene about this in 2008′s “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.”)

I understand wanting to show off a designer’s frock without the distraction of a purse, but why carry a purse in the first place?  I gave up carrying one years ago because I found that no matter what size bag I carried, I needed a bigger one, and then a bigger one, until finally the bag would be big enough to carry two or maybe three human heads (depending on the size of the heads, your results may vary).

When I would give up in disgust and hang my latest suitcase-sized bag on a hook somewhere, I found I no longer needed the things I carried. I traveled fine without the human heads and that was true even when there were small children running around. They learned early on that if they wanted gum, they should carry it. If they needed tissues, we’d find them. But Mommy didn’t carry a magical bag that allowed her to anticipate their every need, and if that made me a bad mommy, so be it.

I am willing to equate carrying a purse as an example of a kind of benign oppression — not quite — but give it a try some time. Dump the bag, lose the weight, and see if you like life better. Those people around you will find the nail files, the tissues, and the cough drops for themselves.

And thanks, Gawker, for the photo.

Thursday funnies!

And thanks, Sister Cynical, for the giggle.

This is not entertainment

The Parents Television Council has released a report, “Women in Peril,” that says that since 2004, our television shows have included more incidents of graphic violence against women on television — and sometimes a lot more.

Among other things, the report said:

• Televised violence against women and teen girls is increasing at far greater rates than the overall depictions of violence on television.
• The most frequent type of violence against women was beating (29 percent), credible threats of violence (18 percent), shooting (11 percent), rape (8 percent), stabbing (6 percent), and torture (2 percent.) Violence against women resulted in death 19 percent of the time.
• Except for ABC, every network demonstrated a dramatic increase in storylines that included violence against women.
• Fox was the most egregious for using violence against women as a punchline in its comedies. Check out, particularly, “Family Guy” and “American Dad.”
• In the last five years, there has been a 400 percent increase in the depiction of teen girls as victims.
• In the same time period, there was an 81 percent increase in the depiction of intimate partner violence on television.

These are scary numbers. No one’s asking for censorship, but when violence against women is used as a punchline, or so frequently as a storyline, it trivializes the awful effect of violence on women, their families, and their communities.

And thanks, Jezebel, for the link.

The nation and its hate crimes

NPR has a cool interactive map of hate crime laws around the country.

(In light of Pres. Obama signing the recent hate crime bill into law, it seems a good time to review. More on that law here.)

And thanks, Faith in Public Life, where you’ll find the link, and an interesting question:

So, I have to wonder — how many clergy in these states have been prosecuted for their speech in the pulpit? Seriously, I’d like to know. Because if we were to take the religious right at their word that hate crimes laws will lead to the silencing of clergy, such prosecutions would already be well under way in large swaths of the country.

Can you overload God’s servers?

On Nov. 8, some nonbelievers plan to pray to God and try to overload God’s servers.

Could such an action take God offline? I guess we’ll see.

Was Michael Jackson a role model?

Tom Gibbons, a seminarian, and Mirlande Jeanlouis, a young writer, discuss.

Will you go see “This Is It,” in theaters now?

Handling snakes!

Members of certain Christian tribes believe we are commanded to handle snakes – though the Bible actually says that being able to pick up snakes is strictly a sign of faith. It’s not like it’s a requirement or anything.

Still, when I first came to Connecticut and word got out about my odd *by northeast standards* religion, a few people teased me about handling snakes.

Someone should have told the young Norwegian man who taped pythons and geckos (14 and 10, respectively) to his torso that handling the beasties isn’t required. Or maybe he was, as authorities suspected, attempting to smuggle God’s creatures into Norway.

And thanks, Bro. Jay, for the link. Please pick up your DJ correspondent check at the door.