But I haven’t mentioned how much I love bacon in…ohhhh…a day or two. And thanks, BuzzFeed, for the food for thought. Get it? Food for…oh, never mind.
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Dating Jesus 
This bad-boy has smoked applewood bacon…come DJ, you have to give it a shot!
No, Todd. We love DJ and want her to live to be a hundred.
Jay,
I love DJ too…but part of life is enjoying good food…last week we all were able to see the bacon/cheese mug…now this! Nothing wrong satisfying a craving or two. However…Jac you might be on to something with DJ and this bacon cheese thing. Is there a 12 step program for bacon and cheese?
I can see it now, in a basement meeting at St. Mary’s church, DJ stands up and announces to 15 other people the following:
Hi I am Susan…and I am bacocheeseaholic.
the 15 members all very loudly respond:
HI SUSAN!
All perfectly plausible except I’d have to meet in a fundamentalist church basement or the roof would fall in. Well, hell. The roof’d probably fall in, anyway.
Won’t happen. Emphatically won’t happen. I don’t want to live past the day when I remember my middle name, which is…wait a second, it’s coming to me…
First it’s the cheese-filled bacon mug and now this. DJ, you need help. You are addicted to obscene amounts of bacon!
“I’ll have … let’s see … one Heart-Attack Special, oh, and the Artery Clogger, and, uh… a side of Lipitor, please.”
Hi, my name is DJ and I love bacon
Hi, DJ…
Good job. That’s the first step. Just to scare you into staying to the path to freeing yourself from your bacon attachment, watch this. This could be you if you don’t do something about this:
Ohmigod. This is me. Well, it’s me right up to when he breaks through his addiction.
Great. Now I want some bacon. I don’t even keep it in the house.
DJ continues her story to the 15 other bacocheesaholics:
DJ: I remember being a small four year old girl and my parents took the entire family to the diner after Sunday services. I told the waiter I wanted two sunny side up eggs and toast. I don’t remember who, perhaps it was my preacher brother…he said Hey, Susan-have some bacon with those eggs. I said OK because well, he’s older and like I said he’s a preacher.
I tried the bacon and it was heavenly…salty, crunchy, slab of goodness. I was hooked.
I hit rock bottom when I was in college-my roommate was away so I had the room to myself, and I ate the whole package…I knew it was wrong, but bacon is the friend that’s always there for you. Once at the mall, a Munson’s salesman asked me if I wanted to try a chocolate covered pretzel, I said no…then he said “How about a slice of chocolate covered bacon?” He told me the first one was free. OMG chocolate and bacon together what a treat!
At the height of my bacon addiction I would collect soda and beer cans to get enough cash to support my Munson’s habit. I hit rock bottom the day I sold my blood to the American Red Cross to get a fix. It was Christmas time and I quickly ran outside of the mall and wolfed down the sweetness. I heard a mother tell her child not to stare at me.
Now I am strong…when I go to a diner for eggs…I order tofu! :)
This is sadly close to true, save for the going to a diner with eggs and no bacon. But I’m about to watch Jac’s helpful video…
Mmmm, bacon.