File this under “You canNOT make this up:”
You can have lil’ jewels attached to your ladybusiness, because God knows God didn’t make your ladybusiness nearly beautiful enough.
How long, oh Lord, how long? Why does this nonsense always get pitched to women. And when – and I say this with love — will men start worrying that their down-yonders aren’t covered in jewels, and don’t smell like oranges (rain, patchouli, you name it), and when will men start purchasing products to change all that, do you think?
And thanks, Pursuit of Harpyness, for the link.
UPDATE: Oh, Lord. I just read that Jennifer Love Hewitt uses this product, or something like it. And there’s a video. (Not to worry: It’s not of the actual bejeweling.) Jennifer! Whatever are you thinking?!?
Time for Eve Ensler to add a new monologue.
I suspect she could do quite the monologue on this.
Hahahahahahahaha!
No thanks, don’t send a brochure my way.
I’d like to think that I’ve only ever mated with men who would be grossed out by this product.
They say it only lasts 5 days. So, do you start dropping a trail as they fall off around day 5. or what?
So you start dropping a trail and the small children in your life say, “Mommy, have fairies been here?” and you answer, “No, doll. That’s just Jac’s Jewels.”
OMG – my stomach hurts from laughing!
I’ll do a double-take if I see something like that on the ground. Mothers beware if your child starts collecting these things! Throw them away and wash your hands!!
And for God’s sakes DON’T LET JUNIOR EAT THEM!!!!
Thank you. I’m here all week. And please tip your waitstaff.
:-)
I’ll give myself a generous tip!
There ya go.
Hahahaha at first, I thought you meant Junior as a husband’s name.
Ha ha ha. Nope.
When men do, I will have to find a new species.
Why do women do this?
Hey ladies, it’s a vagina, not a Christmas tree!
Not that anyone noticed, but my last Gravtar was actually body paint on a woman’s never-regions, incorporating body hair as a beard on the guys face.
Sorry…
I could not make out the photo, probably because it was so small. Way to add just the right amount of tacky to this high-falutin’ blog.
That’s my job…
I’m glad to help!
:)
I wonder now, (and it’s all your fault, by the way), how Trustcorp would approach the…. opportunity.
“Post No Bills” maybe.
If there were points for converging blog posts, you would win several for this. I would Bedazzle (speaking strictly for myself): “Whatta YOU lookin’ at?”
Oh for the love of Pete! So now we are told that we should have a disco ball down there? I can’t take this kind of pressure!
And won’t a disco ball make it hard to walk? I’m just spit-ballin’ here.
“Is that a disco ball in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?” Wait, that doesn’t quite work, but what the hell.
I really needed a laugh this morning before buckling down to work. The stress just poured out of me for awhile. THANK YOU! Just send me the bill.
‘Twill be huge. You can pay it when you pry it off the duck’s face.
God! I’m killing me! Tip the waitstaff. Have fun at work.
Disco ball would be OK, maybe some smoke, even a strobe light.
But if it were me, I would say no to flash pots.
Good one. Seriously, a good one.
I’m in the waiting room for a breast biopsy and all of you actually made me laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanx
Good luck, Sherry. Been there done that too, hope yours has the same good results mine did.
Bejewel your Breasteses, while you’re there. Surely they have the equipment for your equipment.
Meanwhile, hopes and prayers for a boring biopsy.
I hope you get the results quickly and its good news, Sherry. I’m glad we made you laugh. I had one of those and it can be a little stressful.
As far as guys go–they affectionally refer to the testes as the “family jewels”–so no need to add any additional jewels
Perhaps. However if there was ever a body part, either male or female, that could use a make-over, it’s those pin cushions in our never-regions.
I suspect that tattooing is out, but super glue and some sparkly stuff could only be view as an improvement.
Yow.
Tattooing isn’t out – I know an older gentleman, very conservative, who tattooed his sack when he got parkinson’s to show his body just who was who. He’s pretty amazing.
Oh. My. God. I love this man from afar.
SPIT-TAKE courtesy of Bro. David. And it’s coffee I’m spitting, no less!
She’ll be here all week folks—try the veal. (just kidding to you no cow eaters)
Rock on, Sister Just!
I keep wondering if it would get caught in the teeth.
Wait. The sack or the Bejewels?
By the way check your Websters Dictionary–”Family Jewels” are there defined. While getting lost in the dictionary when looking up something–I ame across the term and my wife said–I always thought you made that up. NOpe
Well, now I have to go look…