Keep your Bedazzling hands offa my nu-nus

File this under “You canNOT make this up:”

You can have lil’ jewels attached to your ladybusiness, because God knows God didn’t make your ladybusiness nearly beautiful enough.

How long, oh Lord, how long? Why does this nonsense always get pitched to women. And when – and I say this with love — will men start worrying that their down-yonders aren’t covered in jewels, and don’t smell like oranges (rain, patchouli, you name it), and when will men start purchasing products to change all that, do you think?

And thanks, Pursuit of Harpyness, for the link.

UPDATE: Oh, Lord. I just read that Jennifer Love Hewitt uses this product, or something like it. And there’s a video. (Not to worry: It’s not of the actual bejeweling.) Jennifer! Whatever are you thinking?!?

About these ads

40 responses to “Keep your Bedazzling hands offa my nu-nus

  1. Time for Eve Ensler to add a new monologue.

  2. Hahahahahahahaha!

    No thanks, don’t send a brochure my way.

  3. When men do, I will have to find a new species.
    Why do women do this?
    Hey ladies, it’s a vagina, not a Christmas tree!
    Not that anyone noticed, but my last Gravtar was actually body paint on a woman’s never-regions, incorporating body hair as a beard on the guys face.
    Sorry…

  4. I wonder now, (and it’s all your fault, by the way), how Trustcorp would approach the…. opportunity.

    “Post No Bills” maybe.

    • If there were points for converging blog posts, you would win several for this. I would Bedazzle (speaking strictly for myself): “Whatta YOU lookin’ at?”

  5. Oh for the love of Pete! So now we are told that we should have a disco ball down there? I can’t take this kind of pressure!

    • And won’t a disco ball make it hard to walk? I’m just spit-ballin’ here.

      • “Is that a disco ball in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?” Wait, that doesn’t quite work, but what the hell.

        I really needed a laugh this morning before buckling down to work. The stress just poured out of me for awhile. THANK YOU! Just send me the bill.

        • ‘Twill be huge. You can pay it when you pry it off the duck’s face.

          God! I’m killing me! Tip the waitstaff. Have fun at work.

    • Disco ball would be OK, maybe some smoke, even a strobe light.
      But if it were me, I would say no to flash pots.

  6. I’m in the waiting room for a breast biopsy and all of you actually made me laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanx

    • Good luck, Sherry. Been there done that too, hope yours has the same good results mine did.

    • Bejewel your Breasteses, while you’re there. Surely they have the equipment for your equipment.

      Meanwhile, hopes and prayers for a boring biopsy.

    • I hope you get the results quickly and its good news, Sherry. I’m glad we made you laugh. I had one of those and it can be a little stressful.

  7. As far as guys go–they affectionally refer to the testes as the “family jewels”–so no need to add any additional jewels

  8. She’ll be here all week folks—try the veal. (just kidding to you no cow eaters)

  9. Carol the longwinded

    I keep wondering if it would get caught in the teeth.

  10. By the way check your Websters Dictionary–”Family Jewels” are there defined. While getting lost in the dictionary when looking up something–I ame across the term and my wife said–I always thought you made that up. NOpe

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