How do you talk about domestic violence? Take the quiz and find out.
More on Click to Empower here.
-
Search It!
-
Recent Entries
- All good things etc.
- A little more reading with Sunday’s column…
- You should go hold a baby.
- Every Tuesday at 11:45 a.m….
- Jesus occupied Jerusalem
- Black Friday madness!
- Perhaps the most awesome request for donations, ever
- Tax the very rich, right now
- Sometimes? You just have to say no.
- Check out this Baptist minister’s take on environmentalism:
-
Links
I scored “Advocate.” Figures.
Go ahead, Sis. Sharon!
“Listener”
..surprised?
Nope. “Advocate.” I’m not surprised about that, either.
“Advocate”
I recently wrote a paper on the lack of awareness of domestic violence prevalence among clients of healthcare providers. I suppose I already considered myself an advocate.
You know, domestic violence awareness activists say that an aware medical professional can make all the difference. I remember going to a new doctor way back in Wichita, and I had a weird bruise on my arm (I’d dropped a chair on myself) and she wasn’t buying it. At first, it made me mad that she thought that of me, and thought that of my then-husband, but the more we talked the more I appreciated her concern. And this would have been way the dark ages, back in the early ’80s. I trust she’s having a fabulous medical career.
I think they can make a difference, but, in general, they still don’t see the issue from a feminist perspective. There can still be a hesitation to get involved and a lack of awareness that domestic violence can go beyond physical violence. It sounds like you had a good doctor.
She was fabulous. And she was extremely understanding when my first reaction was defense of my husband (who never ever ever did anything like that). It was pretty typical, that reaction, of someone whose husband would do something like that. She was patient with me.
“(I’d dropped a chair on myself)”
I’m trying real hard to picture how that could happen.
Health care professionals are at the front lines in many ways.
I had to defend myself against child abuse related questions from Doctors and nurses when we took my daughter to the ER after a fall.
That’s as far as it went, but in a way I was relieved that they asked.
By the way, “Advocate.”
Hard to be objective, as the person I know who is a abusive relationship is a family member.
Yep.
That was my reaction.
I was moving a rather heavy chair through a too-skinny doorway. It caught on one side and smashed my forearm. I had let go of one side so as not to get my hand caught, and caught my arm, instead. If I had to do it over again, I’m not sure I could figure out how to do it. I also one time caught my toe in the runner of my shower door and hurt it, a lot. After it healed, I stood and tried to wedge my toe back in there and couldn’t. I still don’t know how I did that.
I once fell off the bottom plank of a scaffold and rolled about three feet, sending tools all over the place.
I kind of looked like that Bear that fell from the tree and bounced on the trampoline, then to the ground.
Thank God no one else was around to see!
Dang. No video?
OW!!! That sounds awful, DJ.
Oddly, it looked a lot worse than it felt. My arm, anyway. My toe hurt like a )(#()&(er.
Pragmatist.
I was scared to take the quiz because my sister was in abusive relationships and I never saw it. Even when her abusive boyfriend was living with us. I used to turn a really blind eye to anything negative in her life.
I don’t think it’s easy to involve yourself in someone else’s relationship business even when there are signs, Veags.
I think sometimes we don’t see what we don’t want to see. I suspected something was going on at a neighbors’ house and was really ham-handed about it when I finally said something, but it took me a loooong time to say something.
That can go for the person in the midst of it, too, dj. Did your sister see it as abuse, vegas? It can take a person a long time for a person to see it for what it is.
That’s true. In general, what we know to be abuse doesn’t start out as that. As an activisit-friend of mine says, he’s not going to pick you up for the first date and beat you up. The early signs are far moe subtle.
And then there is the denial and refusing to admit that it may not stop because there is the hope that it will. Vegas, did your sister hope that things would work themselves out?
I think by the time she saw it, she didn’t know how to get out. Six years later he is still stalking her. She was too afraid I guess but never told me any of it until after she got away. He lived with us, I don’t know how I missed it.
Don’t beat yourself up. Domestic violence doesn’t come knocking on the door and announcing itself.
Ditto on what dj said. I’d guess that what you are describing, vegas, is how it often plays out.
Nah, this is not a guy’s quiz. I don’t see any answers that match up well at all with the things I’d most likely say and do… like advise my friend to leave the bum immediately. Also to help her pick out a date/time for me to bring the U-Haul and help her move.
And this, Bro. Mike, is only part of why I love you.
I’m surprised no one has brought this up yet: All of the emotional and economic abuse cases in conservative churches where the man is in absolute control over every aspect of the woman’s life in the name of God and church.
For example–
http://www.covered4him.com/Submission.htm
Jesus H.
OMG – An ex-boyfriend tried to explain this to me a few years after we broke up. It was part of his new church’s teachings. I couldn’t believe it. Yet, it explained his earlier views when we were together.
And do we miss said ex-boyfriend? No. We do not. At least, I don’t.
It’s been many years. Yeah, his fist went right by me thru a wall and he cheated on me, but there were good moments, too. So, I get how confusing things can be. I suppose looking for the good in people can backfire. We are VERY far apart in our views on politics & religion, so I do not miss him. However, coincidentally, I just heard from him a few days ago. He’s harmless though. Not like vegas’ sister’s ex.
I just heard from an ex a few weeks ago. We met for dinner. That was it. Our politics are probably fairly close but our view of the world appears not to be. I believe we both went home relieved that we’d dodged a bullet.
That’s a good thing for Mr DJ.
Call him and tell him, won’t you?
That was certainly an edifying website!
But wait . . . there’s more! Google up “wifely submission.”
It used to be called “perfect submission and obedience.”
For some reason, my wife says “Pfui.”
some of those websites… I’m actually speechless
That’s the idea. Keep ‘em speechless.
“Let the women keep silence in the churches!”
I’m with Ms. Jay.
Made me hack up a hairball.