Since I left my old job back in May, life hasn’t been what I expected.
I expected to feel pangs of nostalgia, and waves of regret. I’ve felt neither. It hasn’t been all rainbows and puppies, but when you work a job as long as I did — and as hard as I did — you would think there’s been some residual…something…so my reaction means either I did the right thing, or I’m shallow as hell.
I stayed in that job long past my due date for a variety of reasons, some of them valid. For one, the thought of losing my last name, Susan Campbell Ofthehartfordcourant, was akin to chewing off my own arm. If I wasn’t a newspaper reporter/columnist, precisely who was I?
Then, too, I hesitated leaving because You Don’t Leave A Job Without Another Job Waiting For You. Ever.
I stayed, as well, because I never quit loving to talk to people and then writing about them, and in the pressure cooker of a daily newspaper job, I never took the time to lift the lid and look around at other ways to tell stories. In fact, about five years ago, I remember talking to my husband about the potential of life after my newspaper job, and I cried. I cried!
I’ve shed no tears lately. In fact, I was driving home from dinner with friends last week (I can do those types of things now, have dinner with friends, and this week? I’m watching a movie with friends, too.) and my heart filled up. This, then, is the life I really live.
So I haven’t cried, but I have:
* Started writing a monthly column for the fabulous website C-HIT. My first one should run shortly.
* Entered into negotiations (Ha. “Negotiations,” like we used lawyers and stuff. We met over coffee.) to start co-writing a blog with Tom Breen (tentative title: Hot Dogma!). In conjunction with that, we are
* Talking about co-hosting an online radio show. I only just met Tom but I like him already — a good thing, if you’re going to share a microphone, yes? More on that later.
* Gotten back the edited version of my biography on Isabella Beecher Hooker, and the questions are going to make the book better, so I’m happy. (And if you’re a frequent visitor to this blog, you know I needs my editing.)
* Started working part-time at Partnership for Strong Communities doing research and grant-writing and generally learning the myriad of acronyms that housing-types use. I sometimes feel like the grizzled, cigar-chewing shrew in the corner among people who are lit from within, but I believe I can learn from these folks, and I like them already, too.
* Participated in a few panels, on topics from immigration to (yes!) the War of 1812.
* Guest-hosted John Dankosky’s WNPR show, Where We Live, appeared on The Colin McEnroe Show on the same station, and last night sat down for Bruce Barber’s Real Life Survival Guide, with some really interesting guests and some awesome ribs and sides. I don’t know how it’s going to sound on-air (you won’t hear it for a few weeks) but participating felt like going to a dinner party with people with whom you needed to bring your A-Game.
I am still in search of a Big Girl Job, one with benefits and everything, but I know it’s out there and I’m not losing sleep over it. The weird thing is, I’m probably working harder (though less hours) than I did at my old job, and I’m enjoying myself more. Freaky how that works out.
I have no idea what’s next and I don’t lose sleep over that, either. I guess what this has taught me that if you’re thinking of jumping, go ahead and do it. The universe (and some really good friends) will catch you. Go ahead. Do it.
I’m guessing that because the cowgirl thing didn’t work out years ago, that that experience made this transition a little easier.
It has made the transition easier, that earlier disappointment.
I’m starting week 4 and am a little surprised at how quickly I’m recovering from it all. Unlike you I haven’t done anything worthy yet. Good for you!
Nancy, you’re in your fourth week outside the gulag, and I call that completely worthy. Good for you, too! Maybe we’ll wander into one another, and not in an office hallway.
I’m so glad of your good news. Here’s hoping it only gets better. :)
Well, it’s pretty stinkin’ good right now. I don’t want to be greedy…
In November it will be 30 years since I left my Big Girl Job and thought I’d need to get another right then and there Not so! Been making it in the Big Bad World since Nov. 12, 1982 (yes, I remember the date!) and this fall my business kicks off itS fourth decade! YOU CAN DO IT TOO!!!
Bless you. I take great comfort from your comment.
It may be a good idea to dip your toe in more than one pond as you find that Big Girl job. As long as you keep those of us who love you in the know as you broadcast, blog and write into the next stage!!!
Turns out, I like having a bunch of things going on at the same time. Now if I could just learn to keep ‘em all straight…
Susan this is wonderful. Have been exactly the same place of re-creation. It is a new birth for the rest of your lifetime.
Followed your column in the Courant and then moved to VA last year. It will be great to be able to follow you through these changes in your life. I have several friends who are asking a lot of the same questions you have. I have them too, but continue in the trenches for much needed benefits. It’s a leap the practical side of me hasn’t been able to make. I will follow your progress with interest!
Those benefits are huge, aren’t they? I have yet to find a Big Girl Job With Benefits, but I know there’s one out there. And how do you like Virginia?
Glad for you, but many of us really, really miss reading you in the Courant. I
have been a faithful reader since 1997.
Dang. I should send you a towel or a place setting or something. Thank you. That’s very kind of you to say. I still read the Courant, still love it. I’m just loving it from afar now.
Susan,
Had a similar experience this year with a job I had done for many years. I was an art teacher, the last 7 years teaching exclusively kindergarten art. I left mid-year, an anathema for teachers, and other than missing little children, I haven’t looked back. Things became repetitious, administration took more from my supplies every year, and demanded more of my time. The final nail, I received a glowing review from my administrator, that was however, literally verbatim of the review I received last year.
I mean she changed the date. That’s all.
There were a lot of young licensed visual art teachers that would covet my job, but I just saw it as the same thing on an ever coming different day. It was time to move on.
Have not looked back. First, I must say that I’m lucky. With a little financial finagling, my husband and I were able to take this step. Many others are left with quiet desperation and a longing for June. But strangely, I too, have not mourned a job that I was gratefully recognized for and thanked by parents, colleagues, and some terrific kids.
I was done.
What I do now:
Have taken an ESL course at my local library and now have my first immigrant student, whom I teach English every week.
Have created a painting program at a local assisted living center, where I teach the elderly to paint.
I run every other day, 2-3 miles, and no longer have a weight problem.
I have taken up sewing, and have just about finished an Alfred Shaheen/ala Marilyn Monroe bombshell dress. (I’m of Italian descent, if you can’t cook, you better know how to sew, otherwise they question your true heritage…)
I am ever aware that I can help people, and that that’s incredibly meaningful to me, and also, helping and serving in your community is ageless, always looking for you, and brings much better rewards than any review with the dates switched.
Peace-
Jane Pionzio DeWitt
I guess when you make a jump like, you’re vaguely aware others have done so before you, and it’s gratifying to hear someone who was done, left, and then found she still had passion for something. I am still writing. I still like sentences. Your life, as you’ve formed it, sounds fabulous.
Three cheers for you, and for jumping. I am in free fall myself at present, and I’m confident of landing on my feet. A few years ago, I gave my husband a birthday card that said, “What are you waiting for?” He starting pursuing chances to direct plays (his passion) and is happier than ever. All my best wishes for your future endeavors! xo
I LOVE that. Thank you and good luck with your landing — though you probably won’t need luck.
Oh, I’ll take the luck, and some back at you!
MWAH. Big Interwebs kiss!
Wait! What? No. Ah… hello? “Rainbows and puppies”? Don’t you remember that time in early June at the beach there were those 2 rainbows that met over Long Island Sound and there was that little man in the green suit dancing around… Oh and there was that puppy playing with that kitten and a baby mouse. Thems was good times… good times.
And I remember these three young people who charmed the heck outta their…Schiavonious. Send ‘em back. We’ll take ‘em any time.
I don’t know of anyone who was as busy as you are during a transition period! It’s really great you’ve moved forward without an ounce of regret. I’m grateful that you continue to speak out and tell stories in your own way, at your own pace, because I’ve enjoyed your writing since I first read your columns & blogs. I don’t know why a person can’t transfer healthcare benefits to someone else. When we had & will have 2 benefit plans, it was a waste since we could only use one. I’d share if I could.
That’s very kind of you. I am entering in the world that other people have lived in forever, and it isn’t pretty.
“I’d share if I could.”
THERE’S a good idea! Where I worked last we could donate an unused sick or personal day to someone who had used up their own supply and still needed the time; and as I recall, employees of the city of Hartford used to be able to do that too — I don’t know if they still can. It would be good if we could transfer excess coverage too! Oh but wait, that would interfere with personal responsibility, wouldn’t it……. as in “if you don’t have health care you probably don’t deserve it.”
I tried to share sick days at my old job, and it was against company policy, which was — to my way of thinking — another reason to leave.