Sis. Michele Bachmann says: Jesus is coming (because of the gays)

imagesIn yet another gift to satire writers everywhere, former Congresswoman and current Queen of Crazy Michele Bachmann said in a radio interview that…well, just listen to it, won’t you? You can listen to more here.

According to Christian Extremist and Cosmic Birth Pains Observer Bachmann, the Rapture is coming. Jesus is coming, but it’s happening faster than expected because of the gays.

Yes. We need to cry out to a holy God: Why, God. No, seriously, why Michele Bachmann?

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12 Comments

  1. She was on the Intelligence Committee? Talk about irony. I can just imagine a Jesus/Bachman meeting: Jesus: Michelle, what the HELL is wrong with you?

  2. So she is grateful, right, because the Rapture is what all True Christians ™ like her are hoping and praying to occur in their lifetime? In fact, more people should turn gay, so Jesus comes back even sooner.

    (I’m sorry, I can’t listen to her voice. Thank you for last stening for me.)

    1. I listen so you won’t have to. She gives Christians a bad name and if she IS going to be Raptured, I trust she will be kept in a sound-proof holding pen throughout eternity. I say that with all the love I can muster.

  3. She makes no sense. Does she hear herself talking, I wonder, or does she just spout out phrases?

    1. It sounded a little bit like the latter. But I’m not fluent in MicheleBachmann.

    1. Lyrics:
      I think this Jesus sounds like a great man
      He said be as humble and grateful
      And kind as you can
      That hatred and violence births hatred again
      I think this Jesus sounds like a great man

      But what if the rapture’s entirely man made
      What if it’s coming but no one gets saved
      At least 3 of the horsemen already in play
      What if the raptures’s entirely man made…..

    1. Bro. Peter, you can listen to the entire show here: http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/understanding-the-times/player/lawlessness-global-transformation-how-it-sets-the-stage-part-2-462502.html — though that’s just part 2 and you can find part 1 near the same link. Bachmann names abortion, gay marriage, and Pres. Obama for hastening end times. And before you start talking about eschatology, you should back away from what you think is ignorance among these comments. These folks aren’t ignorant and calling them so makes you look, well, mean. And ignorant. I would submit that radio talk show host Jan Markell isn’t the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but I don’t want to be mean. Or ignorant.

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