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  1. …at which point Mr. Stanton called Superman a Communist sympathizer and most likely a homosexual and immediately turned him in to the FBI and Joseph McCarthy who immediately took note of that red cape, and those tights, (Whoa! Superman needs tights? Not bloody likely!), and proceeded to place The Man of Steel on a blacklist.

    Fortunately for us all, McCarthy drank himself into censure, and ultimately oblivion, before any official besmirching could question Superman’s loyalty or his sexual preferences. The welfare state was safe…until…Ronald Reagan proved to be too much bully for even a Caped, (and Tighted), Crusader.

    Currently…Superman is looking for work. In this economy, being faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and being able to pull off blue tights and a red cape, make one overqualified for just about everything but a magician’s assistant. Penn and Teller aren’t hiring.

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