Spanked by Jesus

Spanked By The Lord

Sometimes we get sick because Jesus is spanking us? I am bothered by this more than I can say. But thanks, BuzzFeed, anyway.

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30 responses to “Spanked by Jesus

  1. This is so disturbing!

  2. The spanking-picture is really disturbing.

    • Her pants are down. Whyever would that detail be necessary? But then, if you’re going to launch nonsense like this, I guess a telling detail like that really isn’t that big a deal.

  3. good grief. Although of course it makes perfect sense in the Old Testament-y kind of way. (I’m reading the Bible to my kids. Why did Noah curse Canaan? Cripes.)

  4. Holy Macaroni, that is the worst thing I’ve seen in a long time. It would make me convert to a non-Christian faith if I was a kid!

  5. Good Lord, deliver us!

  6. Hokay, what I want to know is why Jesus pulled the little girl’s pants down? ‘Cause, see, that makes this spanking sexual abuse. Srsly. Look it up. ZOMG JESUS IS A SEX OFFENDER.

  7. It’s not a laughing matter. And yet…… it makes me think of Roy Zimmerman’s song about a mean and vengeful God:

    • Sometimes? I think it is a laughing matter. Thanks for this, Cynical.

    • That’s awesome, I’ll have to look this guy up.

      • Tangentially: In his recent newsletter Roy says this:

        “I had the pleasure during this tour to stay a night at Kagin Manor, the Union, KY home of Edwin and Helen Kagin. Edwin is a Southerner, a son of a Presbyterian minister, an Air Force veteran, a handgun instructor and nevertheless, an avowed athiest – an Important Athiest in fact, who has written a book called “Baubles of Blasphemy.” “Baubles…” is a deft and witty tweaking of America’s religious sensibilities, highly recommended reading before your next trip to the Creation Museum. Look here http://www.edwinkagin.com/

      • And for anybody in CT or western MA — check his website http://www.royzimmerman.com because he’s playing in Leverett on Thursday 10/15, Worcester on Sat 10/17, and Torrington on Sun 10/18.

  8. Did Jesus really have to pull her pants down to do this? I didn’t know he was a pederast…after all, most carpenters I know are strong enough to spank hard through the toughest jeans.

    Of course, I guess it is possible that his hands are still sore after 2,000 years.

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