And a flying car, too. You were lied to. The future’s not going to be nearly as cool as you were promised.
If you’d read the second Harry Potter book, you’d know about a thrilling adventure in a flying car. OH, YOU HAVEN’T READ HP, YOU SAY?!
(No, I’m totally not going to stop.)
But you must because I have oppositional personality disorder and if you tell me to do something, I won’t. I think I made that disorder up.
Okay, then I forbid you to read Harry Potter. Don’t make me come over there. Holy shit, lightning. REALLY, don’t make me.
Oh, there’s one called oppositional defiance disorder. One of my college professors had it on a list of potential disorders she thought I might have. And seriously? No HP? What’s wrong with you?
I have OPD, which is something I thought I’d made up to explain my lousy attitude. Maybe I fear I’ll read it and be in a cult and then go to hell.
Oh you will, you will be under the control of the witchcraft and your path will suddenly be leading you straight down. But it’s worth it.
Well. Put that way…
You know, you really don’t want to go around saying you have a personality disorder. It’s a really harsh, life-changing sentence for someone who actually has one. It means there’s something wrong with you and it will never get better, and you’ll need therapy/meds the rest of your life, and even with that, you might still lead a really messed up life because of your personality anyway.
/Psych minor mode
I’ve never read Harry Potter. Seen some films, but never cracked a book. But I can go two better than that. I’m one of the three people on the planet that has never seen ET. And I don’t own a cell phone.
And I was not at Woodstock. At least I think I wasn’t at Woodstock. It was a very….long year.
Don’t tell Kickable you haven’t read HP. It’ll become a mission for her to get you to read it. ET I get. Woodstock, I get. But no cell phone? Are you not an Amurican?
I must be an Amerikan.
There’s no wireless at The Hotel Occidental.
Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:
You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out / Change )
You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out / Change )
You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out / Change )
Connecting to %s
Notify me of follow-up comments via email.
Notify me of new posts via email.
Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.
Join 71 other followers